An Ode to Yard Sales

Hello, welcome to my lovely home,

What? No art deco, just buckets of floam?

What will you take for this table?

Obviously the price is wrong on the label.

Will you take 10 cents for this bucket?

Oh, the price is $20? Well f@*k it.

I am looking for a deal,

OK, really I just want a steal.

I want to bargain till you just give it to me,

Yes, basically I would prefer things for free.

Let me go into your cupboards and see what is there,

Oh, 1/2 used hand soap and shampoo, it's only fair,

I can buy these for pennies and how 'bout that paper towel roll?

No grocery store for me, now isn't that droll?

They came and they poked and they asked many questions,

Did you sell your house? Where are you going? No discretion.

Here is the truth, it's being foreclosed upon soon,

Yes, we have lovely things in a house, one would swoon.

We tried to make it, but it just didn't work,

Spread too thin, in an economy that went berserk.

The story is not pretty and there is much much more,

But really it is none of your business, let me show you the door.

Take your bargains, your table and chairs, your beautiful stuff,

But remember it's family and friends who count when the going gets rough.

This is in NO way geared toward my lovely friends that came to my yard sale. This is for all the other nosy people in the world.