Friday, December 2, 2016

B's 18th

18 years ago today, I was laying in a hospital bed with my second daughter. When I realized that I was pregnant with her, I wondered how I would love another human being as much as my first born. Little did I realize that it was easy. Your heart grows and you love the second one just as much as the first one. I am sure if I was blessed with more children,  it would be the same: my heart would just keep growing. 

I have read what I have written about you, B,  for the past 8 years and nothing much has changed. You still get my sense of humor and have actually adopted it for yourself. You are still a leader (hmm, captain of 2 swim teams). You still sing any chance you get (yes, I listen when you don't think I am. Please don't stop). You are still compassionate and kind and I love hanging with you and your friends. 

So B, all I have to offer is advice for your future. You have college to look forward to and whether or not your shoulders give up on you, you will still make wonderful memories. People gravitate toward you because you are fun to be around. You are polite, smart and caring. You sing like an angel and I hope you will always treasure that gift. And it is a gift; one that I was not blessed with, but appreciate so very much. So, whether you decide to teach Kindergarteners, walk on the moon or be a neuroscientist, I hope you will sing your way through every day. 

Know that I love you very much. You'll be surprised to know I have tears right now (haha). Know that I love every adventure and car ride we go on. And please know that I would give you the world if I could. The great thing is, whatever I cannot give you, I know that you will go out and get yourself. 

Happy Birthday Cookie
Love, Mama

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Kent's Point

Some people go on walks to exercise. You see them in their workout clothes, some pumping their arms, some listening to music, some looking angry. The purpose is one of getting fit/staying fit.

Bobby and I go on a lot of walks. I would most definitely say they are not of the serious work out type. Ours are more of regrouping, finding new things, taking pictures, finding rocks, seaglass or shells. The fresh air and exercise are bonuses.

Today we went on a walk at Kent's Point in Orleans. I didn't bring my camera or my phone for that matter, so no pictures from me. What I noticed on today's walk was the smells and sounds. Of course they are 2 things that I cannot "show" you. The wildflowers smelled delicious, they were white. The marshy ocean area smelled heavenly and the lilac bushes were lovely to look at and smell. Throughout the whole walk, we could hear the waves hitting the outer beach. While things were relatively calm where we were, it is amazing to think of a stormy sea a few miles away. Then there were the birds. Or course, I am not a bird woman and have no idea which bird makes which sound except for the woodpecker that we could hear. The others just sounded like little songs matching the crunching of the leaves and pine under our feet.

The walk has a lot to offer in the fact that it is mostly wooded, but you can also walk on the beach and enjoy an inlet with many boats. Lots of people walk there with their dogs. So many people, that when we got there a woman with a lab asked us what type of dog we had with us. We were just there to take some breathes and catch up on our day.

A shot from a fall walk at Kent's Point.

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Wicked Tulips

My friend, Jen, introduced me to a place in Rhode Island that was offering tulip picking.

"Tulip picking?" I asked.

"Yes, as in acres of tulips and you can pick your own."


The "place" is called Wicked Tulips and it is is Johnston, Rhode Island. I had been following their progress on FB and through their newsletters and when it came time to buy tickets, I jumped at the chance! I figured what a fun adventure and timing it with Mother's Day weekend, was an added bonus.

The five of us piled into my sister's car and headed to RI. I invited my mom, sister, my sister's mother-in-law and my 5 year old niece. The fog on the Cape and the heavy gray clouds in RI did not deter us. When we arrived at the farm, we were met by no less than 5  happy, helpful and friendly men directing us to park. We were ready with boots and a bucket and raincoats. The raincoats came in very handy when the skies opened up 10 minutes after we arrived. The farm offered us some umbrellas and off we went!

The view from the parking lot. I was giddy!

Let's DO this!

Thankfully, it only rained for about 10 minutes. I was itching to get my camera out from under my jacket! There was a section of tulips to pick and a show garden where you could look at the different types.

Here is a sample.

My niece had a ball! If she wasn't picking flowers, she was running up and down the aisles or stomping in mud!

Wet or not, we were a happy crew! I hope these people continue this endeavor because we plan on making it an annual event. Honestly, I am not sure if I liked the picking better or taking the pictures!

It's obvious, we love a camera (and tulips!)

This is not a sponsored post. I was so grateful to find this farm and be able to enjoy it! You can buy tickets during the week right at the farm, but for the weekends you have to order them ahead of time. The tickets are $5 and the tulips are a dollar a stem. 

Friday, May 6, 2016

Happy 19th K

Nineteen years ago, I was wearing a similar outfit to today which totally cracked me up when I realized it this morning. Leggings and a long shirt: my uniform of pregnancy and evidently my outfit today. Some old habits die hard. 

Dear Kelsie,

What a year it has been for you!!! (and me, but I will try and make this most about you). While many of your classmates graduated and jumped to college, you took a different route. Honestly, you have rarely taken a traditional route and I applaud you, even though I have held my breath through many of your adventures.

You have worked on a commercial fishing boat at 4 in the morning, driven across the country, lived with a different family, found a job, commuted to said job and made a bunch of new friends. You have had to deal with plane reservations, a car accident, budgeting money, feeding yourself and doing your own laundry. You know how to make a plan and execute it. I am truly proud of all you have accomplished. I know that there were bumps in the road this winter and they were totally understandable. It's not easy adulting (even at 49).

Even though we now live 3000 miles away from each other, I am still your mom and your biggest supporter. I love you millions and cannot wait to see you next month!
Happy Birthday Sweetie,

Love Mom

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

17 reasons

To B,

17 Reasons Why I Love you (on your 17th bday)

1. You're hysterical.

2. You're sarcastic.

3. You have a beautiful voice. I love listening to you sing and have loved it since you would stand in your crib singing every morning.

4. I love your laugh.

5. I love that you like going on photo shoots with me.

6. You are a dedicated athlete and student.

7. You are compassionate and empathetic.

8. You are wicked smaht!

9. You are a good friend.

10. You always try your hardest, unless it's reading english novels for class.

11. I love that we share a love for ICE-CREAM! (and laughing)

12. You are an excellent snuggler.

13. Your beautiful blue eyes.

14. If you are learning something new or trying something for the first time, you stick with it until you master it.

15. I love our talks.

16. I love that we can share shoes and jewelry.

17. You are an optimist.

You have a busy, exciting year coming up B! I am so looking forward to it! I love you gabillions :)

Thursday, August 6, 2015

"Leavin' On A Jet Plane"

My daughter is one of the many from the class of 2015 that is not going to college right away. At first I was nervous because I thought this would give her an excuse never to go to college. I want her to go to college and experience all the things college has to offer (and no, not just the book smarts). She said she was not ready and compromising on a plan that would make both of us happy, she left for San Diego yesterday. No, she did not want to take an easier route and rent an apartment with friends from town, she wanted to go 3200 miles away to the opposite coast. This was a better solution than going to Costa Rica for 6 weeks which was one of her early ideas. The reason San Diego worked in my mind was because she was going to live with my sister's best friend (who is also my friend) and her family. They were moving out there from New Hampshire to start something new and graciously said that K could join them.

Everything was fine and dandy until my sister, K and I got to the airport. I mean her flight was on time, we checked her in like champs and then we had to say goodbye and watch her walk through security. That's when the following started going through my head:

*Does she know how much I love her?
*Does she know how much her sister is going to miss her?
*Have I taught her enough?
*Will she remember to put her napkin on her lap when she eats out at a restaurant?
*Have I taught her enough about doing laundry?
*Or to put the colors all together?
*Or that a dryer sheet will make your clothes smell good and not have static cling?
*Or that a dryer sheet makes a good duster too?
*Does she understand that she is moving from a quiet hamlet to a large city?
*That she cannot walk around without having her purse zipped or know where her wallet is?
*That she should always use the buddy system and never venture into unknown territory alone?
*That she has a beautiful smile and is a wonderful, caring, smart,  young woman?
*Does she really know how to clean a shower? Or a toilet?
*Does she believe me when I say, "have faith"?
*Does she know how to make a boy realize that No means No?
*Does she know not to fall for the first boy who calls her pretty?

This whole letting go of your "kid" is not easy. I know it is not suppose to be easy, but I was not expecting to feel like my heart was being pulled out of my body watching her turn and wave after going through security. Needless to say, I am so grateful to the Hines family for helping K break free of her safety net of Cape Cod. She will learn how to navigate the city, find a job and at some point make some friends and rent an apartment together. Or she will spend some time out there and find that it is not for her. Either way, I am ok with it because I am proud that she took the step to do something out of her comfort zone. Somehow that baby that we brought home from the hospital without instructions is on her way to becoming a full blown adult.
And I could not be more proud of her!

Monday, May 4, 2015

Happy Birthday K

18 years ago, I was as big as a house with my first baby. She made a point of being fashionably late and came more than a week after her "due date".

I had fun in going out to stores,

"Oh, when are you due?" strangers would ask while staring at my stomach.
"6 days ago." I would answer and smile and walk past them; their mouths hanging open.

I went for plenty of beach walks (scratch that) waddles. I ate all the ice-cream I wanted. I had a handy shelf for my bowl when I sat down. She's lucky she didn't come out with a flat head where the bowl usually sat. I got a great base tan from sitting on my deck during that warm spring.

She finally arrived just after midnight on May 6th which was a smart move on her part. If she was born on Cinco de Mayo, her name would have been Juanita. At least that is what I was telling the doctor and nurses. I was in so much pain, but could still crack a joke.

Now in 2 days she will be 18. The age where most teenagers "think" they are an adult. They can think it, the law can tell them it, but are they really? How can she be when every time I look at her....

I still see her when I first changed her diaper,

I see her sliding down the backyard slide with her cousin at 1 years old,

I see her on the beach as a toddler holding her doll, Chubby, by the hair,

I see her coming home from her first day of Kindergarten and adopting the stuffed animal lamb that my mom had sent me so I would not miss K so much while she was at school all day,

I see her with no front teeth,

I see her struggling to learn how to read when all her peers could,

I see her dancing and looking at herself whenever there was a reflection or a video camera around,

I hear her singing (lots),

I see her picking berries and making "paint" on the bathroom floor in middle school,

I see her getting all dressed up for her 8th grade dance,

and I see the joy and determination when she jumped her horse Clint in competitions.

It's hard to picture her as an adult when I still see her under the age of 12. It's not that I am ignoring her now as a teen, it is more that I like to nurture her and be her mom. Teenagers like to do things by themselves. They choose to be with their friends more than their mom. I get that. It's hard when that looming age of 18 comes up; they think that they are instantly an adult and that they do not need you.

What they should realize is that they shouldn't rush so quickly to be an adult. Adults have to pay bills, do laundry, make sure the house is clean, make sure everyone gets to where they need to be and be super responsible. It does not suck to be an adult, heck, we can have ice-cream for breakfast if we want to. However, it does give you gray hairs and heart burn (yes, I am sure of that).

Somehow we have to come to an agreement of sorts where she can grow up and be on her own, but not forget her roots. Not forget her safety net. Not forget that there is someone on Cape Cod ready to catch her if she falls or beat the crap out of some boy that hurts her. It's hard letting go, but I have to trust that I have raised her to the best of my ability and taught her that love and gratitude go a long way in life.

Happy Birthday K