We arrive at the vet, Gretel sniffs the entire yard, pees and I bring her in (where she sniffs the entire room). K brings her book and questions, B brings long division which she just learned and wasn't getting. G is trying to sniff everything while I stand on her leash and help B with division.
me, "How many times does 3 go into 6?"
me, "Aurgh! That's 3x6!"
We get called into the office room. I kid you not, it was like a regular Dr's office where you sit in the examining room for 15 minutes. G sniffed, I picked things off of her, B struggled with div/mult, and K was reading a poster on dog gingivitis. Then K checked G's teeth and decided she was almost stage 4. I told her to look at her own gums and compare. Then she proceeded to have a hot flash and took off 3 of her 4 layers. Can you have a hot flash when you are 11?
The Dr came in with no bedside manner whatsoever! She didn't even comment on how cute and clean G was. (Yeah, she was clean because she rolled in horse shit this afternoon and I had to give her a bath). She asked me what was up with her and I told her it was a feeling that I had that things weren't right. She basically rolled her eyes and asked me to help her put G on the table. Unfortunately K and B were at G's tail end . The "kind" Dr. stuck the thermom. right up G's ass right in front of the girls. They even studied the gingivitis poster just to avoid that scene. Then the Dr. said a bunch of words that resulted in drawing some blood. The words included Lyme Disease, Addison disease, poodles, blahblahblah....
She took G in the back room and we went back to the waiting room. K and B weighed themselves on the "dog scale". They took off at least 5 pounds for clothes. How do they learn that at such a young age? We don't even own a scale. G came out quite happy and finally noticed the cat in a basket on the counter. She growled at it and then ignored it and went back to sniffing. I told K to put on her 3 layers even though her face was still bright red. We finished B's division with the knowledge that she needs to practice her multiplication facts. The Dr. comes out and rattles off "antibiotics, plain wet dogfood, lyme test not positive for lyme, but other tick borne illness, platelets, maybe another disease, won't know for a few days, keep her away from horses and quiet for a few days." WTF.
That bedside manor was received to the tune of $210. Poor little doggie. Poor little wallet. Then I proceeded to have the hugest allergy attack on the way home which resulted in allergy medication and inhaler, a shower and a large glass of wine. Yeah, so it's not a proven fact that wine helps furry allergy attacks, but it sure helped take the edge off the evening. Now I have to go look up random words on google and find some multiplication flash cards.