Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Matchmaker, Matchmaker....



Friends of mine have suggested that I try an online dating service. I think it's so they can live vicariously through the dating disasters that I am sure to have. It's been 20+ years since I have been on a date. Bringing him home to meet my parents takes on a whole'nother level when you have to introduce your kids, niece, brother-in-law... and the ex-husband who lives in town.

Curiosity got the better of me and I half signed up for a site. This means, I can check things out, but nobody can see me or what I wrote. I'm bound to get a date this way.

I instantly realized 2 things. The first one was that I could make a profession for myself taking photos for dating sites. I mean, how good can you look taking your own picture in the bathroom mirror? No one is smiling in this instance. They all have a serious or seriously confused look on their face because they are not sure the phone camera is actually focused on them or the toilet. Or many had their senior pictures from HS or college. I am not looking in the 20 year old age range, these are middle aged people. Or  there are the pictures of a person with a random arm in them. As in, I went to this wedding and had a picture taken with my friends, but I am going to cut them out so you just see me. Don't you have a friend that could take a quick shot of you outside or sitting on your couch or driving your Porsche? Look, I just dated myself. Do people even drive Porsches anymore?

The other thing was the monikers people give themselves. You are not suppose to use your real name (lest someone like me google you and find out you have a police rap sheet a mile long) and adding some sort of number is a good thing. If my brother were ever to enter a dating site, his name would include gr8 in it because he thinks he is great and clever.

Anyway, there is a pretty big difference in the boy monikers versus the girl monikers. (and yes, I looked at the girls for research people).

Boy monikers are very direct and confident:

thebrick
heylookatme
flirtosaurusrex
isLuigiforu
wilddancer
sketchy (hmm, not someone you would bring home to mom and dad just by the name!)
theone

The women on the other hand were less direct:

cuteandfunny
enjoyinglife
summerbluebell
happygirl

I picked my name before I checked out other names. Let's just say I fall securely into the girl category, plain and simple.

So, let's take a vote.

I should:

A. Make my profile public with my HS yearbook photo.

B. Make my profile public with a few recent pictures and never mention that I write a blog so I can talk about everything here for your amusement.

C. Get off the dating sites and live a peaceful life of celibacy.

D. Change my moniker to something like uknowulikemeIamgr8 and go public with some pictures of me when I last wore a bikini (I think I was about 25).

I will have a pie chart of the answers in a few days....

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Definitely B, I love reading your blog! I've had a few horrible experiences on one of those sites... I can relate...

Headless Mom said...

B!!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE TO DO IT FOR THE MASSES!!!!!!!!!

Actually, I've been curious about those sites. Not for me, but I don't know anyone that's used one and I'm wondering if they work!

Patty @ A Day in My NYC said...

B!!!!

Go for it!

KK said...

DUH! B! CAPITAL B!!!

Mrs4444 said...

B, for SURE!!

Sue, did you read my post from Thursday? (I'm Shallow and I Know It?) I think you'd appreciate it.haha