B-isms

As I have said before, my 9 year old keeps me in stitches. She is not cracking jokes every 2 minutes, she just talks (a lot). She also listens a lot and therefore tries to incorporate different words into everyday sentences. So the other morning, we were snuggling in bed just talking and trying to get up. These are some of the things she said,

"I've got to brush my teeth today. They are getting a little resilient, it's been a few days. They are starting to smell like fried possum." Fried possum? She must be sneaking in a few episodes of My Big Redneck Wedding.
"You looked hot when you were married." We have been going thru old pictures trying to find some order to them. This statement is implying 'what happened to you?' " Oh, 2 kids, 5 surgeries and a metabolism that is fast as a turtle's, oh yeah and that addiction to m&ms.
"Mom vaginas should be called hair-ginas." TMI
"Your stomach is more comfortable than my pillow to lay on."

Today was her annual physical. We also spent the afternoon running errands. There were plenty of one liners, but I had a hard time nonchalantly writing them down while I was driving in a downpour. We did see a man riding his bike in the downpour.
B, "That guy is crazy!"
me, "Yes, or he could be homeless or not have a car".
B, "Or it could be blackmail".
me, "What does blackmail mean?"
B, "You know, when you get an email and it tells you something you have to do."

Let's see what she can come up with tomorrow after she has gotten some Valentines.