So I have a bad cold, disease, -itis, whatever, that is making me a little groggy, but I will try to persevere and post something comical for all of you who depend on me to make your day a little brighter.
My mom is an eavesdropper, I am an eavesdropper and now my girls are eavesdroppers. I consider this a genetic trait and not something I learned or taught. My DH found this out early on in our relationship. We'd be out to dinner talking about how he was so in love with me or how he couldn't imagine life without me or how beautiful I was, when I would pop up with, "That woman's brother was just picked up on a DUI and her husband said, 'Good, he's a drunk' and then she burst into tears." DH would be like what/who/where? I would say, you know that couple in the booth 3 booths away from us? He would just shake his head and go back to praising me. (HA)
Well, the other night at hip hop while I spent 2 hours sitting on a cold basement floor waiting for K and B to finish up classes, I couldn't help but listen in on a few conversations. Blonde woman was talking on her cell phone to what I could gather was a male friend about how her boyfriend broke up with her, she didn't want to move again because her daughter had lived in 9 different places(she is about 8) and the boyfriend took her puppy. She finishes that converstion and takes her regular post by the studio door so she can talk to brown hair woman. Well these 2 have a conversation that elderly people could have heard 2 rooms away. No respect for volume from these 2. I then learned that blonde was harboring a fugitive that boyfriend had brought home one night. He ate her food, talked with her daughter for a few days before she realized he was wanted. She made him get into her car and she drove him to the police station to have him arrested. Now she does not trust boyfriend and tells him to leave and he takes the puppy (her puppy, the one they bought together). Her family wants her to make up with boyfriend because they really like him.
Brown hair woman is drooling over a 17 year old male dancer who is doing ballet/hip hop in another studio. The 2 women together ask him if he is a ballerina and he says he prefers 'male dancer'. They find out he is from Russia and basically embarrass the poor boy by blatantly staring at him while he warms up.
What my girls pick up on is the conversation where brown hair woman is saying that her kids have a bucket at school with a toothbrush, paste and floss and every day after lunch her kids must brush their teeth. Even the nurse knows about this, so they HAVE to do it. The woman does not want to pay for cavities for her kids. K and B are floored by this and repeat it to me the whole way home.
The hip hop school is starting a class for moms (God help them). Guess who is going to be in it? Yup, blonde and brown hair women. And me and like 4 of my friends and whoever else. When anyone walks by blonde woman, she asks them in her loud voice, "So are you joining the mom's hip hop class?" "Oh you have to!" " Oh, it's going to be so much fun!" "We get to be in the show at the end of the year with the kids, won't that be a riot? we can wear leg warmers and those leotards from the 80s....." Oh boy. My only consolation to this is that the pressure will be off me in the class. She will talk through the entire thing and no one will notice my paltry moves in the back of the class.
What, you ask, are the other moms in the basement doing? Other than listening to these women converse, we are rolling our eyes at each other because we really cannot believe what we are witnessing.
OK, enough sitting up right, it is time to pepper my liver with cold medicine and lay down. I will pay for this luxury of resting for 2 days when I am resurrecting my house that has come under siege from 2 kids, a husband and a dog since I have been sick. I hope I can find my way to the bathroom from all the laundry that is piling up. WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR SOMEONE TO THROW A LOAD IN?