Wednesday, February 27, 2008


So I have a bad cold, disease, -itis, whatever, that is making me a little groggy, but I will try to persevere and post something comical for all of you who depend on me to make your day a little brighter.

My mom is an eavesdropper, I am an eavesdropper and now my girls are eavesdroppers. I consider this a genetic trait and not something I learned or taught. My DH found this out early on in our relationship. We'd be out to dinner talking about how he was so in love with me or how he couldn't imagine life without me or how beautiful I was, when I would pop up with, "That woman's brother was just picked up on a DUI and her husband said, 'Good, he's a drunk' and then she burst into tears." DH would be like what/who/where? I would say, you know that couple in the booth 3 booths away from us? He would just shake his head and go back to praising me. (HA)

Well, the other night at hip hop while I spent 2 hours sitting on a cold basement floor waiting for K and B to finish up classes, I couldn't help but listen in on a few conversations. Blonde woman was talking on her cell phone to what I could gather was a male friend about how her boyfriend broke up with her, she didn't want to move again because her daughter had lived in 9 different places(she is about 8) and the boyfriend took her puppy. She finishes that converstion and takes her regular post by the studio door so she can talk to brown hair woman. Well these 2 have a conversation that elderly people could have heard 2 rooms away. No respect for volume from these 2. I then learned that blonde was harboring a fugitive that boyfriend had brought home one night. He ate her food, talked with her daughter for a few days before she realized he was wanted. She made him get into her car and she drove him to the police station to have him arrested. Now she does not trust boyfriend and tells him to leave and he takes the puppy (her puppy, the one they bought together). Her family wants her to make up with boyfriend because they really like him.

Brown hair woman is drooling over a 17 year old male dancer who is doing ballet/hip hop in another studio. The 2 women together ask him if he is a ballerina and he says he prefers 'male dancer'. They find out he is from Russia and basically embarrass the poor boy by blatantly staring at him while he warms up.

What my girls pick up on is the conversation where brown hair woman is saying that her kids have a bucket at school with a toothbrush, paste and floss and every day after lunch her kids must brush their teeth. Even the nurse knows about this, so they HAVE to do it. The woman does not want to pay for cavities for her kids. K and B are floored by this and repeat it to me the whole way home.

The hip hop school is starting a class for moms (God help them). Guess who is going to be in it? Yup, blonde and brown hair women. And me and like 4 of my friends and whoever else. When anyone walks by blonde woman, she asks them in her loud voice, "So are you joining the mom's hip hop class?" "Oh you have to!" " Oh, it's going to be so much fun!" "We get to be in the show at the end of the year with the kids, won't that be a riot? we can wear leg warmers and those leotards from the 80s....." Oh boy. My only consolation to this is that the pressure will be off me in the class. She will talk through the entire thing and no one will notice my paltry moves in the back of the class.

What, you ask, are the other moms in the basement doing? Other than listening to these women converse, we are rolling our eyes at each other because we really cannot believe what we are witnessing.

OK, enough sitting up right, it is time to pepper my liver with cold medicine and lay down. I will pay for this luxury of resting for 2 days when I am resurrecting my house that has come under siege from 2 kids, a husband and a dog since I have been sick. I hope I can find my way to the bathroom from all the laundry that is piling up. WOULD IT BE TOO MUCH TO ASK FOR SOMEONE TO THROW A LOAD IN?

Monday, February 25, 2008

Sunny Sunday

As I have said before, my DH is a Cape Cod cowboy. His dream is to be a real cowboy riding the range, not a fishing boat, all day long. So when he gets a day off, he and his posse like to ride on the beach. K loves to ride as much as he does and will go anywhere on a horse. B won first place in a competition when she was 6, got a big trophy and hung up her boots. She does still like to ride with daddy, though, as long as they are together on the horse. Here are some pictures of riding the "range" the Cape Cod way.....


B's Birth Story

OK, I was with my family with 10 month old K and asked if Thanksgiving could be at my house that year. This was April. They were all like yeah, whatever. I said that I NEEDED to be near my house. Finally it dawned on them to ask why.

Thanksgiving came and went. B decided she was comfy where she was. Finally 9 days late I went into labor. Nothing like a little experience. I could feel my contractions, but they were not hurting. I had been 4 cent. for like a month. DH and I drove to the hospital, calmly walked in, changed into my pretty gown and asked for an epidural. The nurse looked at me and said, "You don't seem to be in too much pain." I said, "Not at the moment and I would like to keep it that way." The consensus was to break my water and then see. OK, after that I was feeling them. Ouch! They thought I was writhing enough then to give me an epidural.

My sister walks in at 4am or so and cracks up because DH and I are hanging out watching a movie. 16 candles, maybe. The nurse comes in periodically and checks things. Finally she comes in and says, "Don't you feel like pushing?" "No not really is that what I am here to do?" Anyway, my OB comes in and is convinced this is a smaller baby, demands that we turn off the tv because it is distracting her(who's birth is this, I was enjoying it) and gets to work. I figured out the right way to push this time and B was born as I watched the sun come up. The first thing I hear is "Wow, look at the size of her shoulders!" Then my Dr. saying "Looks like she was bigger than I thought." Yes, 9lbs7oz with record wide shoulders...thank God for epidurals!

Saturday, February 23, 2008

A Baby Story

One of the blogs I read every day is My Semblance of Sanity
Michelle is very funny and even does a video blog on Thursdays. She is running a contest this week on people's baby stories. So sit back, enjoy, check out Michelle's site and maybe even add your own story!

K's birth.....
My DH was fishing in Maryland while I was pregnant with K, we weren't sure if he was going to be back for the birth, so my bff Faith went to lamaze class with me. I had such an amazing lamaze teacher, and Faith excelled at coaching me in my breathing, so I had decided to go with no epidural (rookie move). I was 5 days overdue and scheduled to be induced. The Dr. said to call the hospital first to make sure that there was room. "Sure", I thought," like there would be no bed for me-HA!" I was all set to go, called the hospital, yup, no room for me. I was pleading with the nurse on the phone, even volunteering for a guerney in the hallway. So I spent the weekend walking the beach, eating mexican, even having the s word. Anything to get this kid out of me.
Monday came and I had a nonstress test at the hospital. I went by myself because I felt fine and figured this kid was never coming out. During the stress test I had a few minor contractions, but they were not near each other. The nurse said I may as well go home because they were not regular. I forgot to mention that I had been 3 centimeters dialated for 2 weeks. Drove 1/2 hour home, talking to my mom on the phone, had a contraction and practically drove off the road. My DH was home from Maryland by then and in the front yard raking. (Maybe that's why he doesn't rake anymore?) I hung around until about 6pm, called Faith and said, "Let's go!". The 3 of us made ourselves comfy (not necessarily me) in our hospital room. We put Vacation in the VCR and settled back for the night. Maybe not settled. They popped my water and the contractions started to come stronger and quicker. My DH was useless (sorry honey), Faith was awesome. DH is very, very queasy around hospitals, needles, his wife being in pain, blood, etc... He would ask me nicely if I wanted ice chips and then Faith would scream, "Just give them to her, don't ask!" I had nubain which probably would have helped more if I didn't have my arm bent. The tube was smooshed between my arm.
Finally the Dr. comes in and says "OK you are ready to push". In my mind, I am thinking who the hell are you. I had seen all 4 Dr's in my practice, but no one told me there was another Dr. in another practice that might deliver. He had tape around the middle of his glasses. At this point I could have cared who delivered this kid. To make conversation he asked me what my name choices were. I said "Well if we get this done by midnight, the girl's name will by Margherita and the boy's name will be Jose." I think he wondered what I had been smoking. I said, "It's Cico de Mayo". Just to make sure I wasn't serious, I think he told me the wrong way to push so I didn't deliver K until 12:57am! When he asked who wanted to cut the cord all 3 of us were like"Um, no way, you take it!". Our faces must have been funny because we all looked horrified and practically spoke at the same time.
K was 8lbs 13oz with red fuzzy hair. I can't believe that she will be 11 in May! Time does fly!

Road trip cont.

"Back to life, back to reality..." Little 80's music to start your day. Back from our 3 day road trip where reality is smacking me in the face. Instead of that, let's pick up where we left off at my brother's house for a sleep over.....
We played Scrabble till the wee hours of the night! Tommy has a very cool bachelor pad. OK, his girlfriend has added a few touches, too. Her step dad had some cool horns in his basement that T thought would add testosterone, I mean, that special decorative touch to his house. I let the girls hang on them after he left for work....

Then it was off to Boston to see the High School Musical ice show. (A+ if you get a chance to see it!) We actually found my friend, Court, and her 2 kids without too much trouble. I also saw the sister of one of my good friends from HS. She picked me right out of the crowd. It's funny how you can still look the same but different after 20+ years. She looked the same, but more grown up standing there with her kids. It's funny how you picture someone as the same age as when you last saw them. I often wonder how anyone from HS days recognizes me through all my wrinkles. Anyhoo, after buying 3 popcorns, nachos, 2 pretzels, 2 sodas and 2 waters we were set to find our seats. The show was great and I sang along to every song.

Now you know what the inside of TD Banknorth Garden looks like from section 22. It was a great show, then we drove an hour south and met up at Target where my dad dropped off my mom to us. I love Target and am almost happy that it is 50 minutes from my house, so I am not there every day. I am sure my husband is leading the surge to keep Target off of Cape Cod. Anyway, we got to our hotel where we got adjoining rooms and immediately ordered pizza and went for a swim. They had a great school vacation deal where you got popcorn and a movie included in your room special. The girls all watched Enchanted, while my mom watched the debates and I pretended to while laying in a comfy queen size bed BY MYSELF and read People magazine. Ahhh, simple pleasures.
The next morning, I heard B get up and go into the bathroom. She was singing to herself (she wakes up singing), I walked in and found this....

She had made herself a feast on the bathroom floor while waiting for everyone to wake up. Funny, funny girl.
We hit the pool and K gave them a water aerobics lesson...
Then B and her bff A, (matching suits from Target) decided to jump like bunnies for K's amusement

We checked out and went to Justice (for girls) a subsidiary of Limited Too. Those spring colors look a lot more fun than the winter garb we have been wearing since November. Treated the girls to a few spring things as the snow was falling like crazy. Probably should have bought them each a size up since they will probably grow by the time they get to wear them! We then spent an hour in Super Walmart. Wound up buying necessities mostly, but girls had fun in the shoe dept.
Where else can you get cheetah-licious shoes for $8? We drove home in the snow, sleet and rain, got stuck going up our driveway (steep hill), had to shovel and sand the driveway to actually get up it. (Of course DH was fishing). Do you see how reality can hit you in the face after a nice few days away?

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Road Trip-Day 1

Wooohoo! We are over the bridge and off the Cape! Today K, B and I jumped in our clean car and headed out. We stopped at a nutritionist first because my girls are blessed with completely different bodies and this has become a slight issue with one. The nutritionist is super and really going to set us on track in mind and body. M&Ms count as a colorful variety of foods, right?

We excitedly made our way to IKEA because we wanted to buy stuff and Radio Disney was doing a little promotional event. We hit a MacDonalds along the way where both girls commented on the lovely bathroom. That is in Lakeville, MA if anyone is in the area. Driving into IKEA is almost like driving into the Magic Kingdom. The big blue and yellow building looms in the foreground like the big Mickey Mouse at the tollbooth to the M. K. parking lot. (Also as the Big Moose when one visits Wally World, but that's only in the movie Vacation). So we park in section C, this is ingrained into our heads, because we (I) might forget by the time we leave. We head on up to the Radio Disney area and bop to a few HS Musical and Hannah Montana tunes. Why is it that I know every word of every song? Why couldn't I remember the entire periodic table in chemistry? Here are the girls..
OK, so we shop around, sit on couches, chairs, look at bookcases, go downstairs and fill a cart with stuff for their new rooms (we even brought the paint stick with the paint colors on them!), got some stuff for myself and perhaps a few Mother's day presents. We get to the check out, wait in line for 15 minutes or so, send the girls to buy cinnamon rolls (I am sure the nutritionist would have agreed with that after all our exercise) and I look up right before unloading my cart and it says, "we do not accept checks". What the f@*%$ does that mean? It means I cannot buy my stuff because all I have is a check because the rent check I deposited in my checking account will not clear until tomorrow. I wind up buying $30 worth of stuff and leaving my cart for some helpless IKEA person to put back while trying to put off the waterworks that are about to ensue from B. Definitely a bummer, but it's not like I can't go back and really buy everything. Today was like a practice run for when I actually want to buy a bunch of stuff. I am wondering if my husband secretly called IKEA to have them post that sign just for me. Hmmm....

Now we are in Acton. I got to go to my favorite farm stand and buy some food to make my brother, our host for the evening, a delicious dinner after his long day of work in the city. He looked like Mr. Rogers coming in and taking off his jacket and hanging it on a hanger in his closet. Funny to see him all business like dressed up. Usually I see him hammering something or mowing a lawn. Oven is buzzing, won't have a computer till Friday so you will have to wait for day 2 and 3 of our adventure .....

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Sunny Days Sweepin' the Clouds Away....

Today dawned sunny with birds singing and the temp even got into the 40s! Nothing like a sunny day to get things done after so many gray days in a row(feels like 3 months worth)! Before 8am, B pulled out a tooth that had been stuck wiggly for 1 year. Of course it was a bleeder which is nice early in the morning. I wasn't dettered though, the sun was out! Come downstairs to our dog, who is obsessed with squeaky tennis balls. She will play with her self and roll them off the table or drop them into boxes etc to have more fun trying to get them. Well she dropped one in my husband's cowboy boot (yes, I am married to a Cape Cod cowboy) this morning. This is her with full nose in the boot.

So after whipping up some pancakes for the girls, we head over to finish the second coat on B's room. Don't send the truant officer, it's school vacation week here. The camera doesn't really do the color's justice, but these are K's colorsThat's Razzle Dazzle and Kittery Point Green for any would be copy catters. And B's colors are Light Blue and Seafoam Green.

We came home, had lunch (tuna on bagels if you must know) and then completely emptied out my car. I am sorry I didn't take a picture of that. Let's see, we filled a large bag full of trash, there were cleats (um soccer season ended in November), a spoon, lots of hair accessories,cds, a gabillion crayons and markers, old mail, a few MacDonald's toys, lots of change and some things better left unknown. The best thing I found was a gift card to Crate and Barrel that I thought I had lost! Yee-ha! We vacuumed it and washed the windows. My car hasn't had this much pampering ever!

Then I took down the outside Christmas lights (I kept them up because I don't like it getting dark at 4, now it is staying lighter later), took down the wreaths, made a nice pile of bags for hubby to take to the dump, swept the garage all the while playing fetch with the dog. Went to the grocery store, finished the chicken noodle soup I started last night, had dinner, folded laundry, monitored showers and put kids (and hubby) to bed. Phew!

So, finally a productive day. Maybe I am just anticipating 2 days off Cape! The girls and I are taking a road trip to visit my brother, stay at his house, go to High School Musical-the ice show and stay one night at a hotel with a pool. Evidently I will do anything for my kids because I have to don a bathing suit in public in February in New England. Crap, that means I have to shave too. I will just have to add this to their very long list of 'things mommy sacrificed for you, now pick a 5 star nursing home for her someday'.

Monday, February 18, 2008


Let me begin by telling you that Limited Too is my girls' favorite store. It is a girl's world, with hip clothing, accessories, shoes, pink stuff for your room, Miley Cyrus stuff, High School Musical get the picture. My sister in law(who has 3 boys) introduced K to this store when she barely fit into the clothes. I had been avoiding it on purpose and sticking to the casual (cute) clothing of the Gap and Old Navy. I remember when she came home from that mall trip with her cute little angelic face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Mommy, there is a store at the mall that is JUST FOR GIRLS!" Ever since that day we have been cult members of Limited Too. I would be broke if I said we bought a lot of clothes from there. They do not mince on the prices one bit. You are paying mucho bucks for all that pinkness around you! I, however, excel at sale's racks and can usually find them a few things to fit the gift cards they love to get.

So, the other day I was listening to my phone messages when I recognized a perky little voice immediately. It was Jessica from Limited Too. She happily wanted to inform me that some coupon was due to expire in the next few days, so I should rush in and buy something. Once a month Jessica calls to remind us of some bargain at Limited 2. She sounds like that cheerleader in high school that has blonde bouncy hair, perfect skin, perfect body, perky breasts and dates the quarterback. She always starts the call with, "Hiiiii, this is Jessica...". Some days I am in my sweats, having not showered, feeling pretty, with a list of 15 things that have to be done in the next hour and SHE calls. I am not special to receive her calls. She is broadcast to the Limited Too cult society thru voicemail everywhere. This time, she also wanted to give us the heads up that a Limited Too 'catazine' was coming in the next few days. A what? I guess, just being a catalog isn't good enough for them. Curious, I took a look when it came (after I pried it out of K and B's hands). Their catazine is very much a catalog. No extra stories, advice, or anything that would make you believe it was a magazine. Does this surprise me? Not really. Why shouldn't the perky cheerleader have a perky new word to go with her spiel. Now I just have to think of a word that has to do with money, credit card and check so I can pay like the perky gal I am. Hmmm, how about cheditey, mocreck, credmonck......nothing flows quite like catazine though. Maybe I'll give Jessica a call and ask her.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

A Competent Man

I awoke this morning to B telling me that her breath smelled like, "week old wet dog". Doesn't that paint a pretty picture? Makes you want to jump right out of bed and start the day! I came downstairs after my shower (hey I fit one in today!) and immediately went to the computer. B is watching tv, it's 8:15am and she says, "can I have a reeses peanut butter cup? I have been craving them this morning." So I said, "OK, fine" (whatever, it is Saturday and I want to check in on my blog friends) and she adds, "I may have had a herseys kiss to freshen my breath first". Whatever happened to a bowl of Wheaties to make you strong and get you through the day?

DH is out fishing, so the girls and I tackle painting their rooms in our house that we are moving into while renting out other, larger house. I let them pick the colors of their rooms with a little assistance, like keeping it to 2 colors. Here is K and one of her colors
Yes, that would be a deep shade of pink, it's called razzle dazzle. Her other shade is Kittery Point Green. I would show you a picture of B's light blue and seafoam green room, but I am not proficient at my camera phone yet and have appeared to have not saved the pictures I took. Whoops. Nice painting caps from Home Depot, K had to have them. I tell you, it's all about the fashion. I was truly impressed with how the girls did painting and not whining about painting! After I explained to them that I had originally (years ago) single handidly taken down the wallpaper and painted the walls more normal colors without the help of their father, they were duly impressed. B even said I was "a competent man". That's all I've every hoped for as a woman, to be a competent man. I think it was more of a compliment than it sounded. Hopefully, they are up for another colorful day of fun tomorrow!

Friday, February 15, 2008

Hair or Ass?

OK, my eldest started off my day with,
a. you are the best mom in the world
b. you do too much for me
c. you look beautiful
d. your hair smells like throw-up.

Picked (d)? You win! Always a nice way to begin one's day. Just to annoy her, I didn't shower all day either. Ha Ha to you K! Actually I was consumed with cleaning...ok with singing and dancing to a very loud stereo system, but I was still cleaning. At one point my dog was laying on the couch with her head behind a kleenex box. Was it my singing? My cleaning was not noticeable to the naked eye, because it consisted of the cabinets in my bathroom above the washer/dryer and the drain in my tub (same bathroom). What the f@#*? you might say, but remember, I rent my house out for the summer. I have to get my "stuff" out of the way and the "stuff" I don't care so much about neatly placed on shelves and in cupboards. And those shelves and cupboards need to be cleaned. Why do I start this in February? Because I have a lot of "stuff"! And, evidently, a lot of dust on my shelves and gross stuff in my drains. Makes you want to rent my house, doesn't it?

So dear daughter ended the day snuggling in bed with me and posing this statement,
a. you are the greatest mom ever
b. I want to get an ass
c. it's vacation week, yee-ha
d. I think I will tatoo my shoulder when I am 14.

The answer is actually (b). Of course gutter brain here first went for the thought that she wanted a bigger butt (she is petite) and then went to the animal. She just said it because she wanted to say a swear aloud, but pretend she was talking about the animal. The english language when you are 10 is so funny!

I may consider showering tomorrow if those dust bunnies don't get me tonight!

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentine's Day

I have always loved Valentine's Day. Maybe it's the romance of the whole day, maybe that it has to do with chocolate and flowers, maybe because it is a chance to tell everyone how much I like them and appreciate them. I got engaged on Val. day 15 years ago. Don't ewww and ahhh, it was not very romantic. He had had the ring since Christmas and was making excuses to put off asking me. He tried to put off giving me "this present" until my birthday(next month), but I became a little pouty and demanded "this present" NOW. So he tossed me the box and said, "Will you?". That was the beginning of this beautiful fairy tale that currently includes 2 fabulous girls, a dog, a goat, 7 horses, 5 bunnies and lots of fish.

Since K was a baby, I started taking Valentine pictures. Then B came along and I still take V pictures. Even though I send out Christmas cards, I like to send out an email Valentine card. February is a lot less stressful than December around here, so we get V day tshirts and have a photo shoot. So far, they still think this is fun. I found some old ones to share with you and today's.


Before I have had too much champagne, it's time to get dinner on the table. Hope someone told you how much you mean to them today. I think you are great!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


As I have said before, my 9 year old keeps me in stitches. She is not cracking jokes every 2 minutes, she just talks (a lot). She also listens a lot and therefore tries to incorporate different words into everyday sentences. So the other morning, we were snuggling in bed just talking and trying to get up. These are some of the things she said,

"I've got to brush my teeth today. They are getting a little resilient, it's been a few days. They are starting to smell like fried possum." Fried possum? She must be sneaking in a few episodes of My Big Redneck Wedding.
"You looked hot when you were married." We have been going thru old pictures trying to find some order to them. This statement is implying 'what happened to you?' " Oh, 2 kids, 5 surgeries and a metabolism that is fast as a turtle's, oh yeah and that addiction to m&ms.
"Mom vaginas should be called hair-ginas." TMI
"Your stomach is more comfortable than my pillow to lay on."

Today was her annual physical. We also spent the afternoon running errands. There were plenty of one liners, but I had a hard time nonchalantly writing them down while I was driving in a downpour. We did see a man riding his bike in the downpour.
B, "That guy is crazy!"
me, "Yes, or he could be homeless or not have a car".
B, "Or it could be blackmail".
me, "What does blackmail mean?"
B, "You know, when you get an email and it tells you something you have to do."

Let's see what she can come up with tomorrow after she has gotten some Valentines.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Hip Hop

So I have now added 'hip hop mom' to my list of identities. I have been swim mom, gymnastics mom, daisy mom and am still horse mom. K and B started hip hop class last night. We went the week before to check it out and last night actually signed up. The instructor is from California and he and his wife moved here to start a hip hop/ballet studio. The hip hop studio is in the basement. As moms, maybe we have less expectations. My friend Court and I pulled up a piece of floor and sat down to wait out the classes. Mind you it was a little chilly in this hallway and the floor was hard, but for our kid's jackets we were sitting on and there were toddlers milling around. We still managed to talk, do the People magazine crossword (that's about the hardest I can handle) and read. In my mind I was thinking of a few improvements to suggest to the staff. Hmm, maybe benches and some hooks the kids could hang their jackets on...., but I didn't want to be "that" mom the first day.
There was one dad there that I knew. It was his girls first class as well. Dad's don't often think sitting on the floor is much of an option. He commandeered one of the 2 chairs offered and read the paper. Toward the end of the class, he came over and stood by me and rolled his eyes. Obviously he had been listening in on the same conversation I was. Even though I have a strong love of eavesdropping, you couldn't help, but hear these 3 women talking. One was talking about how she loved a guy that could pick her up. Then she went into details how her husband is a plumber and showed the other women the size of his forearms. They thought this was wonderful and very romantic that he could pick her up. Just for a visual, the woman was not petite. She was a 28 year old that has had a few kids, enough said. One of the other women was looking for a boyfriend and was asking the 28 yr old if she knew of anyone. This woman had to be more in her late 30s, maybe 40s. 28 yr old said that her brother was single. The older woman said well you are pretty so he must be hot. The dad I knew came over at about this point and told me that the other one was a stripper. She had at one point been a neighbor. Then the teenage boys started coming down for their class. Is there a law that says hip hop teens can't wear pants the right size or shave? They were a little more scary than the mom conversation. Hopefully my girls will not notice them for awhile.
After my intro to hip hop, Court and I took 5 kids to the Olive Garden. Coincidently, they sat us next to another family we knew, so we had a very loud corner. Do you know they give free samples of wine there? Court and I were trying to figure out how many times we could ask for a sample before we paid for a glass. Our waiter didn't seem to be in the mood for all of us, so we settled for 2 samples before our 6, I mean, 1 glass of wine. By the end of the night one of the kids took a dare and skipped around the restaurant singing Zippity Doo Dah. We were thrown out, I mean left at that point. So look forward to more stories from the hip hop jungle and dinners out on Mondays.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

It's a Wedding!

I'm a photographer who usually assists at weddings and does family shots, nature shots, etc... Today I was invited to be the photographer for Sassy and Dillon's wedding. K and B have always (am I lucky or what?) loved to play together. For 3 hours today they played Barbies. I love listening in on what the topic of the day is. Lately there has been a fashion show and a talent show. Today was the day of the big wedding and I was invited.

There was the limo that took everyone to the wedding....

the flower girls walking down the aisle....Sassy coming down the aisle.....
And finally the kiss to seal the deal......

I'm not sure where they went on their honeymoon. Maybe that's tomorrow's topic.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Got whine?

Close your eyes and picture this.....200 people, high school cafeteria, 5:30-7:00pm, cheap spaghetti, no alcohol, 125 of the people less than the age of 12, no alcohol, hot and the tension rising as the clock nears 7. Welcome to the annual PTA spaghetti supper. Our PTA puts on this great fundraiser every year. You pay for spaghetti and get to have flashbacks to your own school days as you go through the cafeteria line. Yes, plastic trays and square milks and all. Then you buy raffle tickets and put your name into little bags in front of 24 different baskets. The baskets range from a baby basket, to a beach basket, to an office basket, to a gourmet basket to a book nook basket. There were 24 baskets there tonight from the 24, Pre-K thru 6th grade classrooms. The parents in the each classroom were responsible for sending in something related to the classroom theme. The average cost of these baskets were probably between 100-200 dollars. Every child there wants to win a basket. Read as "EVERY CHILD KNOWS HE/SHE WILL WIN A BASKET FOR SURE! Not the case in the real world. The principal draws the names and announces them. Tonight, he actually had a police officer draw the tickets while he announced the names. I think the principal was nervous of the mutiny he felt after last year's spaghetti supper. The kids blame the person who picks the ticket if they are not the winner.

So naturally, DH is out fishing, so I get to take the girls tonight. I tried to not remind them of it, but my parents came for dinner last night and said, "So, are you excited for the spaghetti dinner tomorrow night?!". Super, where were they tonight? Sitting on their couch watching bad tv and drinking ALCOHOL. Me? I was at the spag. supper with my girls. They ate spaghetti, I ate their salad that looked like weeds. They are not crazy about weed salad. Then there was the 45 minutes inbetween dinner and the actual drawings. This is when the parents sit and yell at each other in the loud caf. while their kids run circles around the tables, eat chocolate brownies and then chase their friends. The main statements from the parents tonight were, "I so wanted to bring a flask with some wine in it, but figuring this was a school, I thought better of it", "I can't wait to leave here having not won anything for the _ year in a row and my kids crying", and "could we draw the tickets before my headache turns into a migraine?".

K was hot to trot (no pun intended) on winning the "horse basket". Each year she wants to win this thing and I explain that we have the actual horses, do we need the horse stuff? and she always puts all her raffle tickets in this one bag. B wants the "book nook" basket not because it has lots of books, but because it has a really cool loungy type chair that comes with it. So the girls put in their raffle tickets and I put in mine. I put one in each of their favorites and then the ones I actually wanted to win. Who wins tonight? Me. The Book Nook basket. For B.

She is snuggled in her chair under her fleece blanket at the moment, I am typing with my glass of wine and K is snuggled on the couch. No tears from this family tonight, but we were only a ticket away from tears and anger towards their peers! All I can say is "yay, wine" and "yay, the powers that be that made my night a success instead of a disaster".

Thursday, February 7, 2008

My Big Redneck Wedding

OMG! Has anyone seen this latest reality show? It is on CMT. I watched 2 last night for the first time and it was like watching a car accident..... I couldn't turn away! The show is hosted by Tom Arnold. He pops up on the screen and makes comments once and while, he is not actually with the bride and groom. OK, so in the part of the 1st show I watched, the groom and his men were in camo tuxes and orange hunting hats. The groom gave the bride a pink rifle for a wedding present and she gave him a lizzard or something reptilian. My husband was totally into this show and I walked in in the middle. I wasn't going to watch the next one, because my man, Dan, was on MSNBC, but I kept going back to it! I am slightly embarrassed to even admit that. Sorry you can't hear my sweet fake southern accent in this blog. HA. So, it starts off with the groom on a motorized bar stool with a beer holder. Something he made from crap laying around. They go to meet the minister at his house, have a few beers, ask him questions like "how many ceremonies have you performed?". His answer, "none". Come to find out he became ordained while he was in prison. He figured he was bored so why not become ordained? For the groom's present, his bride-to-be walks a horse through the house, puts on some chaps (with nothing else) and poses naked on the horse in the front yard. Yee-ha. The groom takes 3 buddies to a lingerie store to find something for his bride. The saleswoman with the green hair asks if she likes to be tied up? He says, "Nah, I tried that once and she didn't like it much". So he settles for a see through white robe, but it has long sleeves (she doesn't like long sleeves). His buddy has an answer for that and cuts the sleeves off with his pocket knife right outside the store.
So, my recommendation, if you have had a bad day and need to be cheered up, watch My Big Redneck Wedding. You will be a. amazed
b. in shock
c. rolling on the floor in disbelief
d. wetting your pants laughing
e. thankful your husband didn't want camo for a color scheme.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

30 Years Ago

Today is the 30th anniversary of the Blizzard on 1978. I was 10 years old and remember it a little bit like a photo album; like snapshots of pictures. I grew up outside of Boston in Acton and remember it snowing and snowing and snowing. Once it stopped, I was hesitantly allowed outside. I bundled up to make the trek to my best friend's house across the street. I walked out on our little covered patio and litterally jumped into/through a snowbank and wound up swimming across our yard. I looked back and my Mom, sister and brother were in the doorway watching me. I think my Dad was attempting to use our snowblower on the driveway. There had to be 4 feet of snow in spots. I made it to the road and was able to walk across the street, then started swimming up the hill to my friend Carol's house. She and her mom were in their garage waiting for me. As I was "swimming" up the driveway, I hit something hard. It was their car! Completely buried in snow at the bottom of the hill. I don't remember going back home, but I must have gone the same way I came.

At home, my mom was listening to WBZ radio. There was an announcer called Dave Maynard on the radio that my parents worshiped! He gave out a recipe for Beer Bread. Well my mom had to make it because it was snowing and when it snows you bake. Must be a genetic thing because I still do the same thing now. Anyway, all day long, she talked about how good this beer bread was going to be. It smelled delicious. It didn't taste delicious. Actually, we came to call it brick bread because you couldn't even cut into it! We still tease her about it to this day!

I just showed K and B videos on about the blizzard. It was pretty amazing and we haven't seen anything like it in the last 29 years. Unfortunately, many people were killed and many houses were lost on the coast. We didn't have school for a week! All that snow and no school for a week was almost as good as a Christmas present! It is certainly one snow storm I will never forget!

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Jolted Awake

There is nothing like being jolted awake at 4:30 am remembering that you have forgotten to be the tooth fairy for the 2nd night in a row. I use to be so good writing elaborate notes, describing what their teeth were used for and leaving a book and 4 quarters. As they got a little older, I started slacking and not keeping a stack of books in the closet. Quite honestly, I thought B had lost all her teeth, but in the last week she has lost 2 honking molars. So the guilt got to me and I got up, wrote a little note about how the Super Bowl had distracted the tooth fairy and found a book I had never given her at Christmas. I feel ok about this, but I couldn't find her tooth. She must be like the Princess and the Pea tonight because I think she has it buried under 5 pillows of which I didn't want to disturb. Maybe the tooth fairy wanted her to keep it because it has got to be one of her last teeth- I hope.
We have come up with some elaborate, creative stories for the TF. For example, because TF gave a book and 4 quarters, one night I found myself rushing to Stop and Shop to buy a book after B and K had gone to bed. "This is ridiculous" I must have said, so the TF made the rule that if you lose a tooth after 5pm, you have to wait until the next night to put it under your pillow. After all the TF has to leave the castle by 5 and she wouldn't have brought an extra book in her pack. You may be surprised, but this has worked quite well. When B lost her tooth Sunday, she looked at the clock and said "Alright, it's 1:30!". Then I go and forget. Well, there was that thing called the Super Bowl and after my beloved Pats lost it was all I could do to get out of my puddle of tears and off the couch and into bed. Hmmm, could there be any more teeth left? I better go hit a bookstore today, just in case.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Superbowl Sunday

It is Superbowl Sunday, but it also communion Sunday at our church. This happens the first Sunday of every month. DH and K went horseback riding and B and I went to church. She comes into my room completely decked out and informs me that I need to look good for church today. Not normal good, but extra fancy. I wonder why and she says because she is and that's that. OK, so I put on nylons which I haven't had on since a Christmas party mid December. That's always fun. I throw on a dress instead of my usual black pants and she approves of the outfit. Phew!

She calls communion "snack time". We go through 1/2 the service, she goes to Sunday school and comes back for "snack time". You have never seen a kid so happy for a teeny piece of white bread and grape juice. She watches the minister break the big loaf of bread and whispers to me that she wishes she could have a chunk of that. Then she says"Oh's pumpernickel" like it's poison. I say, "No I think it is wheat". So the congregation does not get that bread anyway, they get the cut Wonder white bread in neat little (teeny tiny) squares. In our congregation, the bread gets passed out, then we eat it all together, then the juice and we drink that all together. So here is our conversation while we are suppose to be praying or thinking about Jesus.

me "Remember, just one piece not a handful."
B "I think I know, I've done this a thousand times." (She has done this no more than 10 times)
B "My bread is stale."
me "Mine too."
B " But I want to roll mine in a little ball. K says that the bread is always stale that's why she doesn't like communion."
me trying to pay attention
B "I just had a little taste." "Look that kid up there got a chunk of the wheat! No fair!" (That kid up there is the alter boy).
me, starting to get the giggles..... we get to eat our bread.
me, giggling, "Mine is stuck in my teeth."
B "Mine is stuck in my apparatus." Now we are both giggling.
They start to serve the juice. B is practically levitating she is so excited. If K were there she would get 2 juices because K doesn't like grape juice. We take our little cup of juice.
B "Hey, these are new glasses because they are not glass, they are plastic." Then she starts sniffing her juice and saying "mmmmmmm". I have to take her glass out of her hands because I am sure she is going to spill it.
We all get to drink. B licks the glass clean. I am shaking and trying not to laugh at this point. She is fully laughing. The minister gets a large mug (sorry I don't know the official name of it) for his sip.
B " I hope David enjoys his big hunk of bread and his beer!"
At this point I am looking away from her trying not to burst out laughing. Tears are rolling down my face.
I think with her having the flu and being home all last week, she has either forgotten how to act in society or we have been spending way too much time together!
Now we are ready for stage 2 of the day.... the Pats game. We are all comfy in our Pats gear and have enough snacks to feed the team! Maybe I should have gotten extra Wonder bread and grape juice?

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Crushes Part 2

My mom reminded me of one other crush I had growing up. Doug Flutie. He was the quarterback for Boston College and then played in Canada and for the Pats for awhile. I wore his number when I played powder puff football in high school. I also hung that shirt at 1/2 mast from our flag pole, the day he got married. It's hard when the guy you have a crush on gets married because even if you really didn't want to marry him someday, the marriage thing finalizes the romantic thought that you might. Thanks Mom for bringing that all back to my conscious memory. It had been repressed for many years.
My girls and I went to see a movie about their "crushes" yesterday. The Hannah Montana 3D movie was playing 1 1/2 hours away in Providence, RI. Our school district did not have school yesterday so we were able to catch the 11 am show. Us and 15 other people. All the shows after 3 had been sold out for the week, but the am show was wide open. Yay for teacher inservice days! B loves Hannah Montana/Mylie Cyrus. K loves Nick Jonas who is in the Jonas Brothers Band who toured with Miley/Hannah. Here they are with their cool 3D shades and official Hannah Montana popcorn bucket. Of course I tried to take this picture in the movie theater with my phone and it came out very dark. Surprising, no? This gives you the full effect of the food court behind their blurry selves. I guess I was so excited after the movie, my hands were shaking! The movie was actually very cool and made up for the fact that I didn't shell our $1000 a ticket to take them to the actual concert. Miley/Hannah reached her microphone out to B and Nick reached out his hand to K. This combined with a trip to Build a Bear and Limited 2 to spend Christmas gift cards made this an out of this world day! So Miley/Hannah or Nick, if you are reading this blog give your number one fans a call!