Monday, August 22, 2011

Have I Done Enough?

Do you ever wake up in the middle of the night worrying that you haven't given your children the strongest moral base that you can?

A loaded question for so early in the morning, but that is what has been haunting me lately.

I know it is because K is entering HS in a few weeks and I am freaking out about it.

Have I taught her right from wrong? Will she be able to say "no" when she needs to? Will she trust me enough to call me when she needs help? Will she admit she needs help? Will she make new friends? Will they be "good" friends?

K and I have a tight bond, but she is also very different from me. I was a preppy, athletic goody two shoes growing up. She wants to be like Lady Gaga. She is a fantastic kid, don't get me wrong. However, if I say black, she will say white. I love going to the beach, she does not. I am optimistic to a fault, she is not. She has been pushing back on me for awhile now and I understand that even though it feels like she was just learning to walk a few months ago, she is a teenager that needs to try some things on her own.

It's just hard.

I am scared for her. I don't want her to be hurt. I don't want her heart crushed by a boy. I don't want her to have to be in that awkward situation where you know what you should do, but your friends are doing the opposite. I want her to like herself when she looks in the mirror. I don't want her to feel like she has to be perfect.

But that's all part of growing up, right? I cannot hold her hand forever, I am just scared that I haven't prepared her enough.


Melisa Wells said...

Unfortunately, she's going to go through all of that regardless of how she was raised (which was very well!). Speaking (er, writing) from experience, I can tell you that the first time your kid gets his/her heartbroken is painful for everybody in the house (okay, not so much for the siblings). It's really hard to watch them go through that. But you HAVE done enough. You may not be able to hold her hand forever (she won't let you anyway!), but you will continue to be there to support her through all of these goofy teenager issues, and you'll both come out just fine! :)

My word verification is "bisick", which I read as "be sick". It made me laugh.

Heather said...

I think that what Melisa said about sums it up. I can't say anything better than that.

Anonymous said...

You girls are so lucky to have you! To know you through your words and the moments I've spent with you...I know you have done enough. She's got a great foundation and her own personality...she's gonna rock H.S!

Cyndy Bush said...

I don't literally wake up worrying, but I do worry. But, I think you will find that as you sit back and watch, your kids will make the right choices. This is the time that you start to see them shine, you see them demonstrate that those things you've been teaching them really have sunk in. My oldest two kids are 15 & 18 and although they drive me crazy, I am so proud of them.

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

Long story, short: your worrying about it proves that you are indeed giving your girls the best of you!

Betty said...

Oh, Sue, you're a great Mom and if you haven't done it all by now, I need to tell you, it's over.
So there, isn't that comforting?
Go ahead and worry, that's what Mom's do.
SHE WILL BE FINE (and so will you)!

Hugs from me to you.

I can't find my blog said...

Ditto to all those above...

My girl is now a sr. in college (ouch!) so I totally understand what you mean. Oh protecting her from hurt? Please throw that out the window. What we should be thinking is, "Have I prepared her to handle the inevitable hurt that will come her way?" And it sounds like the answer to that question for you is a resounding YES! She has a secure home with a mom that's got her back, no matter how different the 2 of you are. She'll do great, Mama!