How to Empty Out a House

Rules for Emptying Out a House:

1. Have great, helpful friends.

2. Have your mom available to supply m&ms, hot chocolate and donuts.

3. Bring a bunch of boxes up from the basement so you don't have to freeze your ass off in the basement while you sort through stuff.

4. Laugh at your dog as she tries to get into a box full of stuffed animals. (Ok, so I can't throw anything away with a face, so I pack them in boxes and put them in the cellar.)

5. Open said box and ask your dog which stuffed animal she would like to play with. Dog not interested in taking stuffed animal, re-close box.

6. Lose patience when dog starts to rip into the box and drag it across the floor.

7. Dump box on living room floor.

8. Scream when mouse scampers toward fireplace.

9. Do not count on mom or sister-in-law to help in anyway. Actually picture them on chairs in the kitchen while you fight the little beast.

10. Thank mom when she finally hands you a bowl to capture the little bastard.

11. Fling mouse, bowl and book out front door.

12. Watch the damn mouse run back toward the house.

13. Hire moving company.