My daughter is one of the many from the class of 2015 that is not going to college right away. At first I was nervous because I thought this would give her an excuse never to go to college. I want her to go to college and experience all the things college has to offer (and no, not just the book smarts). She said she was not ready and compromising on a plan that would make both of us happy, she left for San Diego yesterday. No, she did not want to take an easier route and rent an apartment with friends from town, she wanted to go 3200 miles away to the opposite coast. This was a better solution than going to Costa Rica for 6 weeks which was one of her early ideas. The reason San Diego worked in my mind was because she was going to live with my sister's best friend (who is also my friend) and her family. They were moving out there from New Hampshire to start something new and graciously said that K could join them.
Everything was fine and dandy until my sister, K and I got to the airport. I mean her flight was on time, we checked her in like champs and then we had to say goodbye and watch her walk through security. That's when the following started going through my head:
*Does she know how much I love her?
*Does she know how much her sister is going to miss her?
*Have I taught her enough?
*Will she remember to put her napkin on her lap when she eats out at a restaurant?
*Have I taught her enough about doing laundry?
*Or to put the colors all together?
*Or that a dryer sheet will make your clothes smell good and not have static cling?
*Or that a dryer sheet makes a good duster too?
*Does she understand that she is moving from a quiet hamlet to a large city?
*That she cannot walk around without having her purse zipped or know where her wallet is?
*That she should always use the buddy system and never venture into unknown territory alone?
*That she has a beautiful smile and is a wonderful, caring, smart, young woman?
*Does she really know how to clean a shower? Or a toilet?
*Does she believe me when I say, "have faith"?
*Does she know how to make a boy realize that No means No?
*Does she know not to fall for the first boy who calls her pretty?
This whole letting go of your "kid" is not easy. I know it is not suppose to be easy, but I was not expecting to feel like my heart was being pulled out of my body watching her turn and wave after going through security. Needless to say, I am so grateful to the Hines family for helping K break free of her safety net of Cape Cod. She will learn how to navigate the city, find a job and at some point make some friends and rent an apartment together. Or she will spend some time out there and find that it is not for her. Either way, I am ok with it because I am proud that she took the step to do something out of her comfort zone. Somehow that baby that we brought home from the hospital without instructions is on her way to becoming a full blown adult.
And I could not be more proud of her!