Dear Girls,

Dear Girls,

It has come to my attention that I have done you a disservice.

I do too much for you.

Even as you constantly remind me that you are not little kids anymore and I should let you do more things, go to the mall, walk downtown, etc...

However, it was glaringly obvious yesterday when it snowed that I have not taught you some major life skills. I do not ever recall either one of you picking up a shovel and shoveling snow. I know you know how to dig because you have dug plenty of holes on the beach in the summer. Shoveling is a similar technique, you just shouldn't wear your bathing suit while doing it.

I cleared the snow off the car while you 2 were inside getting dressed and eating breakfast. There was a thick layer of ice on the car, too, which I didn't bother scraping off. I figured I would let the car run 10 minutes before we left for school and it would melt. I, however, FORGOT to turn the car on early. You both left the house a minute before I did and when I got to the car, you 2 were sitting in it, presumably waiting for ME to scrape off the ice. You can hope to heck you have a garage when you get older or a spouse who treats you well, but in the meantime there will be many cold winter days where you will need to think ahead and put some of these skills to work.

I have gotten many an "oh man" or "you can't be serious" look from you both when I have asked you to put your dish INTO the dishwasher. I realize it is "one more step" and might put you in contact with something "icky", but if you don't do it, then it is many more steps for me.

Basically, you 2 have it pretty darn good. Somehow I have taught you how to make macaroni and cheese and baked goods. You can dress yourselves, put on your own makeup and do your own homework. These are all life skills that you have learned and will serve you well. Now, I have to add some new skills because one day, you will be living on your own or have a family of your own and you will need to be independent.

So, in the next few weeks, I will be asking you to do a few more things around the house. This, you will perceive, to be a phase that I am going through and if you just placate me for a few weeks, things will go back to normal, aka: mom doing everything. You will be annoyed when I say, "you cannot go out with your friends until you have vacuumed the living room", for example. I am willing to take the heat because I know that you will need these skills. You are not 5 anymore, even though that is how I see you sometimes. It's very hard for moms to let their kids grow up.

I love you to pieces and would like to do everything for you, forever, but this is not going to help you in the long run and will probably make me resentful and angry. We are a girl team and we can do this.
Now, what's for dinner? Macaroni and cheese and brownies? Great... get cookin'!

Ooodles of love,
Mommy

Tragedy in the Woods

A few weeks ago, a 62 year old woman went for a trail ride with her family from our barn. The barn does trail rides all the time. Usually one of the teen girls lead the ride with Matt or V, the barn boss, picking up the rear. They walk through a lot of protected land between 2 towns. People love them!

Unfortunately, tragedy struck this one day when the horse behind the woman's horse stepped on it's hoof, or nipped at it or something. Whatever happened, the horse bolted with the woman and the woman clipped a tree and died. Pure accident. Pure nightmare for all who witnessed it. Pure sadness all around.

When I was in grad school, I lived at home during the week and at the Cape on weekends. I came home from class one night to find a note on the counter from my dad that said something to the effect of "MJ is dead. At the L's house. Come over." How I got into my car and drove the 1/2 mile to their house, I don't know. All I remember is walking into the house, seeing the siblings and cousins sitting in one room, the dad in the hallway, the mom sitting at the kitchen table with friends and my parents. It was surreal and I was crying asking them if it was really true and pretty much being hysterical. My parents brought me into the living room, sat me down and gave me something very strong.

Evidently, MJ (16) had been skiing that afternoon with his school team at Waterville Valley, NH. All of us grew up racing for Waterville and skiing all the time. He had his helmet on, he was an expert skier and he just happened to catch an edge and fly backwards into the woods where he hit the back of his neck on a tree. He died instantly. It sucked. I was 7 years older than MJ, but I would always tease him that I was going to marry him when he got older. He was a great kid, with a beautiful smile and the nicest blue eyes.

So, of course, anytime someone dies from an accident, it always brings me back to the night of MJ. What this all has taught me is that life is short. You get one chance at life and you better do the things that you love and appreciate them. When it is your time, it's your time. I tried to explain this to the girls after the barn accident. Basically I told them that it was important to see the glass as half full and live and appreciate life and try to learn lessons from life's tragedies even though the lessons aren't often obvious.

Maybe tragedies are just a reminder that life is precious.