Wednesday, December 5, 2012


"Why?" is such a loaded question. 

Yesterday, an extremely smart, kind and funny boy was taken from our lives. 


Did God need help with Apple products? Did He need a young person to round out the older population in Heaven? Did He need another guardian angel to watch over earth?


How do you explain this to his friends? How do I explain this to my daughters? How do I explain this to B who was one of his close friends? 


Everything happens for a reason, I have always believed. It is hard to find a reason when a good solid kid, from a good solid family gets brain cancer a year ago and loses his battle. Do you ever wonder why criminals don't get stricken with brain cancer and not good kids?


When I was in my early 20's, I lost my Grandmother one January and then a 16 year old family friend the next month. I loved my Grandmother to pieces, but I could understand that she was older and that is a natural progression of life. Why my friend MJ died suddenly while skiing with his ski team; that I could not understand. The only thing I could wrap my head around was that I had a special guardian angel and combined with my grandmother, they make quite a team.


I have known people who have gone to their first wake and funeral as full adults. My first funeral was when I was in 6th grade and a 5th grade teacher in our school died. I was on crutches, wore a white denim jumper with a plaid shirt underneath. (Hey, it was the 70's) It's weird the things you remember. I was a seasoned veteran of wakes and funerals by the time MJ died. 


Brad and B were on the same intellectual level. They laughed together, talked together and jump roped together. Their double dutch freestyle (4 person) routine won 10th place at Nationals. The highest place  their team had ever placed in this event. I keep picturing them doing donkey kicks in the middle of the routine. Both, in shape, and totally in sync. This was 5 months before Brad was diagnosed with a brain tumor. 


It's going to take some time to figure out the "reason" that this has happened. Sometimes it takes years to figure out the "reason". Sometimes, when unfair things happen, I have to make up a "reason" just to keep my sanity. My dad is a big believer in "say 3 'Ah-Shits' and move on". When I told him about Brad, I said that 3 Ah-shits were not going to cut it. He said, "Yes, this may need at least 12". 

Or more like 12,000. 


Melisa Wells said...

It's so heartbreaking and totally incomprehensible. My thoughts go out to his family and yours. xoxo

Amy Middleton said...

Like you, we are all grappling with this question today. Sadly, I have no answers. This is one for which we will have to continue to wrestle. I do know in my heart of hearts that God didn't take him from him for his purposes. I just don't think it works that way. If I did, you wouldn't see me on Sunday. I'd have to break up with God, and tell him I'm sorry but we just can't be friends anymore. And sometimes, that's what people have to do. My mom had to do that when my baby sister dies. And that's okay because God can shoulder our wrath. When she was ready to make up with him (after 20 years), he was waiting with open arms. I wish I had words for you to offer Brooke. The most eloquent writer and esteemed theologian couldnt give her or any of us any words that would leave us saying, "well now that you put it that way, I get it." I think your dad is a wise man and his advise is as good as any. And like you, I think it's going to take at least 12,000. Love, peace and prayers to you my friend.

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

I can't begin to even try and understand why a sweet kid like Brad was allowed such a short time on Earth, nothing that would make sense anyway, but I do know that he was especially loved and that heaven has a brand new kickass guardian angel. Love you guys.

Tara R. said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. Parents should never outlive their children. Keeping you all in my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

To this day Stephanie feels the loss of an incredible 20 year old Golden Boy friend who had a father and grandfather who were both doctors and poof! he had
cancer of the kidneys. Some things happen in this life that cannot be explained and you just have to march on. You have to add "shaking your head" while saying the "ah-shits". Nothing really helps; Only time softens the pain, honest.

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PA said...

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you, your daughters and Brad's family. It's never easy to lose some one to this awful disease but to see someone so young lose their battle is even more heartbreaking. He will alwyas live on in your hearts and memories.

Sending you all lots of love xoxoxo

SurprisedMom said...

You bring up so many good points, but in the end no one can answer "Why?" I'm so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers to your family and Brad's.

Mrs4444 said...

My heart aches about this. So sad for you and his family, especially this time of year. I'll be praying for you all.