Who Invented Scales

I had my annual physical this afternoon.

I was hoping that something hysterical would happen in the waiting room to spur on a blog post, but no such luck. During NaBloPoMo, I tend to look for things to write about and seriously, what is better than a waiting room?

Actually, I was in the waiting room for about 21/2 minutes, so no luck there. Then it was off to the evil scale. I have learned that knowing how much I weigh as a number is not a good thing for my mental state. If I am down a few pounds then I think, "ooh, what can I eat". If I am up a few pounds then I still eat, but feel really bad about it and myself. I am really good at obsessive thinking so I try to avoid scales like the plague. I have found a new trick that works and probably makes me look silly, but I do not care.

I close my eyes.

I wonder what the nurse thinks when I do this? Maybe more people than I think do something like this when they get on a scale. All I know is that it works for me. And at the Doctor's office, it's survival of the fittest (or at least being able to walk out with your dignity in tact).

It's a Girl Thing

I spent parts of  2 days last week doing something good for myself.

And no, it did not include manicures, facials, chocolate or wine.

I had my annual GYN appt. and a mammogram. (If you are a guy and are blushing, feel free to come back tomorrow.) You have to take care of the inside as much as you take care of the outside.

This being said, I spent some time in the past 2 days, wearing  beautiful pink johnnies. I swear I tried to take a picture of myself in one, but my iPhone camera wasn't working. I took my iPhone straight to the iPhone God at Verizon, where he fiddled with it and fixed it. See...

Adrian is the best of the best when it comes to figuring out phones.

Anyway, back to my johnny....
I am curious to know if there is a certain way to sit comfortably and modestly in a johnny.

One can adopt the Cosmo pose of laying down on the table on your side and welcoming you Dr. with a wink and a smile.

There is the Good Posture award pose, where you would be sitting up straight, legs dangling, but this  usually only lasts for about 3 minutes until your back starts hurting from actually sitting up straight.

One can always try the slouch, but try holding in your stomach while you are slouching. Not a good look.

Crossing your legs is really awkward in a johnny.

Once you figure out how to sit, then you have to figure out what to do. Counting freckles, wondering how much Purel a Dr's office goes through a day, reading all the flyers on the wall even if they have nothing to do with you (where to get a flu shot, how to figure out your time of ovulation, newborn class), trying to listen to the Dr. talk to the patient in the next room(they should really supply glass cups to make this easier), or do you pull out your phone.

If you pull out your phone, where do you put it when the Dr. comes in? Awkward. I think my new invention will be fancy johnies with pockets for phones.....or snacks.

I should have them out by the year 2113....