Monday, January 27, 2014

Oh, January: Thank Goodness for JB


Plain, boring January.

On Cape Cod, this is the month most people have limited resources. (Of course there is February and March too, but let's just focus on January right now.) It's snowy. It's cold. And truly there is not a lot to do (Just ask any teenager, you will get an ear full).

So, this month of January leaves even an optimistic person fighting for air.  It's not easy. I know. I am that optimistic person.

What  do I reach for? Celebrity news. What could be more entertaining?

Justin Bieber has been in the news twice in the last week. Or maybe I should call him the male version of Lindsay Lohan. What a baggy pants train wreck. However, this is not about him per say, it is about things related to him.

His house gets searched by police who are looking for evidence to an egg related crime in his neighborhood. Yes, one of his neighbors accused him of egging his house. What exactly were the police looking for? An empty egg carton in the trash? A few eggs missing from the dozen in his fridge? Egg stained clothing? A diagram on his computer mapping out where and when to throw the eggs?

And what would make JB think, "My neighbor is an old fogy. I don't like the way he ignores me when my people go pick up my mail or my newspaper. I think I will egg his house." Really, egging seems to be more accepted on October 31st than the middle of January. Maybe he was trying to fry an egg on the sidewalk and got carried away?

Then, in this same week, he rents a Lamborghini in Miami. Here's how I imagine the conversation goes with Justin's people and Budget Rent a Car.

Justin's peeps, "Hey, we need to rent a Lamborghini for Justin Bieber on Monday."

Budget, "Great. We have one Lamborghini in stock."

Justin's peeps, "Great, we will take it if it is black."

Budget, "Oh no, guys. This is Miami. We believe in color!! Our Lamborghini only come in yellow. You want to flaunt your stuff when driving a rented Lamborghini!"

Justin's peeps, "Oh, right. Of course. We'll take it."

Budget, "Assuming that Mr. Bieber has a current license and no history of driving infractions....."

Justin's peeps, "Don't worry about him. He is very responsible. (choking)

So, Justin gets pulled over for drag racing said Lamborghini while under the influence of prescription pills, alcohol and weed. Perfect. I am pretty sure my 3 year old niece is smarter than he is.

Thank goodness JB was able to relax in Panama for the weekend and recover from his recent embarrassments. Although, dude, could you please wear shorts/pants that actually fit you? Perhaps some day soon we will find out the baggy shorts/pants are a cover for his shoplifting circuit. I am going to to hope this happens in February or March. Those are pretty long months, too.

1 comment:

KK said...

Hey Thanks for the "R" shout out! : ) And, lets be real - I would be TOTALLY riding shot-gun if she were driving a Lamborghini!! ; )