Teenagers

Teenagers.

Such a loaded word. So much angst. So much drama.

As a parent, I believe that many like me, look back into their own teenage years and try to parent from that. Unfortunately, so much has changed. Or is that fortunately?

As a teen, I had to call people on our house phone. I wrote my friends letters, and mailed them with stamps. Yes, stamps. I even had contests writing letters with friends. One time I wrote a letter on toilet paper, one time I wrote a letter on a t-shirt, you get the point: I was creative.

I went to Maine every summer and left my school friends for my summer friends. I had no idea how they spent every waking minute in the summer. In the winter, I went to NH and skied.

Every weekend.

How did I find out what was going on over the weekend? On Monday morning back at school, after the weekend happened. So I did not get the every minute play by play, but the general weekend overview.

I am a fan of social media (obviously, I have a blog for Pete's sake). I like Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat. I really appreciate the ease of texting. My computer and I are buddies. My phone and I are rarely apart.

The hindrance is teenagers have all this social media to contend with ALL. THE. TIME. As in 24/7. They know what everyone is doing all the time.

They know that Chrissy had fruit salad for breakfast. Tim had batting practice at 9:00AM, Tina had her  eyebrows waxed by her next door neighbor at 10:15, Wendy "turnt it up", Alicia and Marsha had a sleep over, Caty and Veronica were getting together to go to Chillers, Mark is working until 5 and Spencer has a hot date with Mae at 7.

This actually drives other teens (who are not doing anything at the moment, but reading twitter) CRAZY!! It makes them feel like they have no friends. They are, therefore, unworthy. They may as well pout all day. Or, even better, they should make everyone that live with them desperate to get out of the house.

I feel bad. Not many are tweeting "I am alone. Let's do something". Not many are snapping instagram pictures of themselves with their eyes swollen from crying while they lay in their beds thinking about the great time EVERYONE ELSE IN THE COUNTRY IS HAVING. Not many are being honest with their pain.

There have been the parental suggestions of "read a book", "clean your room", "clean the bathroom", "run to the grocery store", "mow the lawn", "get off social media" to no avail. They want to be with their friends doing something exciting. Not even sitting on a beach is enough. They have to be doing something.

My heart goes out to them. I lived in eternal bliss NOT knowing what my friends were up to. There is not eternal bliss for a teenager of 2014. Well, unless they are actually doing something worthy enough to post on all social media sites.

Happy Birthday to K!

K's 15th Birthday was yesterday.

All weekend we were crazy busy with activities surrounding her birthday including Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby and B's swim banquet..... On the girl's birthdays I usually write a post about them. Last night at 9:30 having just gotten home from the swim banquet, K says, "Hey, you didn't write my birthday post". It's funny when something is important to them and you truly have no idea.

So K, here you go....

Dear K,
You are growing up to be a beautiful young lady. You are gorgeous, unique and smart. (For once, just read these things and believe them ok?) I know how hard it is to be a teenager because I once was one in the non-techie dark ages. You want to like yourself, but it seems cooler and more natural not to like yourself. You will come out of the teen years liking, if not loving, yourself. Promise.

I imagine that it must be hard having so much technology at your fingertips. It makes you need to know everything immediately which is good, but sometimes it is good to wait. Don't ever forget that it is nice to actually smell flowers or cake baking. (Something you cannot do on your iphone.) Also, feeling the sun shining down on your head or running through rain drops is nice, too. Actually speaking with people face to face is more effective than texting.

I am not here to lecture you on your birthday, just giving you some gentle reminders that real life happens while you are on your iphone and I don't want you to miss it.

The passion that you show while you sing makes me cry. I know that is embarrassing to you, but you will understand when your own child is standing on a stage belting out a song or scoring a goal playing a big game. And, yes, I am a little jealous because I would love to stand on a stage and sing like that and I think we all know that I cannot. (Talk about embarrassing!)

So, my little fiery red head, I am blessed to be your mom. Yes, we disagree about some things, but try to keep in the back of your mind that I have reasons for my decisions. Sometimes they will not make sense to you now, but later (hopefully) you will appreciate them.

I could go on and on, but I am crying already and I don't want to pick you up with puffy swollen eyes. (More embarrassment.) I love your Wish, Hope, Dream motto.

Love you gabillions <3

Eavesdropping, again

I am so not ready.

I went to the beach today with my mom, B, my sister, her friend and friend's little boy. Great breeze, plenty of sunshine, great company. However, with my penchant for eavesdropping....we sat near 5 teenage girls. They were all about 14 and the reason I know this, is because they were name dropping all the soon to be freshmen I know in town. I didn't recognize the girls, but maybe it was because I am used to seeing them in clothes, not itty bity bikinis.

When they started talking about my nephew and his best friends, I stopped reading my book and just started listening. According to them, my nephew would think one of them was hot.

Much of their conversation had swears in it, one girl bitch slapped someone in school, one girl they know is scared of getting beaten up in HS, while they were thinking another definitely would. They talked about their weight and how one thought she was chubby (Um NO), one had to have ice cream every night (I wanted to be best friends with her), one boy tried to kiss one girl and she hadn't let him (that led to squeals and 'how come?'), so and so was drunk, so and so acted drunk- but never drank. Then the talk turned to piercings and how they wanted another hole in their ear or their belly button pierced. At this point one of their mom's wandered by to see what time her daughter needed to go to work. The girls were like, "So and so's mom, you would sign a permission slip for all of us to get our whatever pierced, right?"The mom said "NO". The daughter said, "Well I can still do it." That mom shot her the death look that I think I may need to start practicing because that was the end of that.

It was at that time that I scooped up 4 yr old W and pretended to throw him in the water. B wanted me to do it to her, too. A little hard when she is almost as tall as me, so we tried and fell over together. Oops.

I am definitely not prepared for teenage girls living in my house and I only have 3 years to practice the "do it or die" look. Maybe their current need to be within eyesight of me will carry over into their teenage years, LOL.