Not a Teenager Any More

K,

20. Holy crap. How did that happen?

When I look at you, I still see this:

But in reality, you are a beautiful young lady making it on your own. Oh, I know that you have ideas and plans and things that you think you should be doing right now. However, take a look through my eyes. You have taken up residency 3000 miles away from home. You get yourself to work every day, you pay your bills, you grocery shop for yourself, you go to the beach whenever you can and you pay your rent. Extremely impressive. I know you don't see it that way because you get tangled up in "shoulds". Should haves, could haves and would haves can trip you up. Believe me, it has taken me many years to figure that one out.

So, as you embark on your 20s, have some goals in mind, but don't forget to sit back and smell the ocean,

remember how many people love you for you,

and that no matter what coast your are on, your mom is still your number 1 fan.

Happy Birthday sweet bun-nay.
I love you

Happy 19th K

Nineteen years ago, I was wearing a similar outfit to today which totally cracked me up when I realized it this morning. Leggings and a long shirt: my uniform of pregnancy and evidently my outfit today. Some old habits die hard. 

Dear Kelsie,

What a year it has been for you!!! (and me, but I will try and make this most about you). While many of your classmates graduated and jumped to college, you took a different route. Honestly, you have rarely taken a traditional route and I applaud you, even though I have held my breath through many of your adventures.

You have worked on a commercial fishing boat at 4 in the morning, driven across the country, lived with a different family, found a job, commuted to said job and made a bunch of new friends. You have had to deal with plane reservations, a car accident, budgeting money, feeding yourself and doing your own laundry. You know how to make a plan and execute it. I am truly proud of all you have accomplished. I know that there were bumps in the road this winter and they were totally understandable. It's not easy adulting (even at 49).

Even though we now live 3000 miles away from each other, I am still your mom and your biggest supporter. I love you millions and cannot wait to see you next month!
Happy Birthday Sweetie,

Love Mom

Happy Birthday K

18 years ago, I was as big as a house with my first baby. She made a point of being fashionably late and came more than a week after her "due date".

I had fun in going out to stores,

"Oh, when are you due?" strangers would ask while staring at my stomach.
"6 days ago." I would answer and smile and walk past them; their mouths hanging open.

I went for plenty of beach walks (scratch that) waddles. I ate all the ice-cream I wanted. I had a handy shelf for my bowl when I sat down. She's lucky she didn't come out with a flat head where the bowl usually sat. I got a great base tan from sitting on my deck during that warm spring.

She finally arrived just after midnight on May 6th which was a smart move on her part. If she was born on Cinco de Mayo, her name would have been Juanita. At least that is what I was telling the doctor and nurses. I was in so much pain, but could still crack a joke.

Now in 2 days she will be 18. The age where most teenagers "think" they are an adult. They can think it, the law can tell them it, but are they really? How can she be when every time I look at her....

I still see her when I first changed her diaper,

I see her sliding down the backyard slide with her cousin at 1 years old,

I see her on the beach as a toddler holding her doll, Chubby, by the hair,

I see her coming home from her first day of Kindergarten and adopting the stuffed animal lamb that my mom had sent me so I would not miss K so much while she was at school all day,

I see her with no front teeth,

I see her struggling to learn how to read when all her peers could,

I see her dancing and looking at herself whenever there was a reflection or a video camera around,

I hear her singing (lots),

I see her picking berries and making "paint" on the bathroom floor in middle school,

I see her getting all dressed up for her 8th grade dance,

and I see the joy and determination when she jumped her horse Clint in competitions.

It's hard to picture her as an adult when I still see her under the age of 12. It's not that I am ignoring her now as a teen, it is more that I like to nurture her and be her mom. Teenagers like to do things by themselves. They choose to be with their friends more than their mom. I get that. It's hard when that looming age of 18 comes up; they think that they are instantly an adult and that they do not need you.

What they should realize is that they shouldn't rush so quickly to be an adult. Adults have to pay bills, do laundry, make sure the house is clean, make sure everyone gets to where they need to be and be super responsible. It does not suck to be an adult, heck, we can have ice-cream for breakfast if we want to. However, it does give you gray hairs and heart burn (yes, I am sure of that).

Somehow we have to come to an agreement of sorts where she can grow up and be on her own, but not forget her roots. Not forget her safety net. Not forget that there is someone on Cape Cod ready to catch her if she falls or beat the crap out of some boy that hurts her. It's hard letting go, but I have to trust that I have raised her to the best of my ability and taught her that love and gratitude go a long way in life.

Happy Birthday K

Happy Birthday to K!

K's 15th Birthday was yesterday.

All weekend we were crazy busy with activities surrounding her birthday including Cinco de Mayo and the Kentucky Derby and B's swim banquet..... On the girl's birthdays I usually write a post about them. Last night at 9:30 having just gotten home from the swim banquet, K says, "Hey, you didn't write my birthday post". It's funny when something is important to them and you truly have no idea.

So K, here you go....

Dear K,
You are growing up to be a beautiful young lady. You are gorgeous, unique and smart. (For once, just read these things and believe them ok?) I know how hard it is to be a teenager because I once was one in the non-techie dark ages. You want to like yourself, but it seems cooler and more natural not to like yourself. You will come out of the teen years liking, if not loving, yourself. Promise.

I imagine that it must be hard having so much technology at your fingertips. It makes you need to know everything immediately which is good, but sometimes it is good to wait. Don't ever forget that it is nice to actually smell flowers or cake baking. (Something you cannot do on your iphone.) Also, feeling the sun shining down on your head or running through rain drops is nice, too. Actually speaking with people face to face is more effective than texting.

I am not here to lecture you on your birthday, just giving you some gentle reminders that real life happens while you are on your iphone and I don't want you to miss it.

The passion that you show while you sing makes me cry. I know that is embarrassing to you, but you will understand when your own child is standing on a stage belting out a song or scoring a goal playing a big game. And, yes, I am a little jealous because I would love to stand on a stage and sing like that and I think we all know that I cannot. (Talk about embarrassing!)

So, my little fiery red head, I am blessed to be your mom. Yes, we disagree about some things, but try to keep in the back of your mind that I have reasons for my decisions. Sometimes they will not make sense to you now, but later (hopefully) you will appreciate them.

I could go on and on, but I am crying already and I don't want to pick you up with puffy swollen eyes. (More embarrassment.) I love your Wish, Hope, Dream motto.

Love you gabillions <3

The Past Week

The past week has been busy. Busier than any of yours... probably not, but it has been b-u-s-y! The funny thing about not posting in a week is that my "followers" have gone up. This happened the last time I had a week break. This is a little disconcerting. I like to think if I skip a few days of posts, it gives you guys a break from reading my posts and lets you concentrate on other peoples' posts. I am sure you miss me, but I have to give the other blogs out there a chance. 

What have I done in the past week+?

Celebrated one's fabulous 12 year old birthday.

K, you make me laugh every day. Some days you make me cry, some days you make me wonder what I did to deserve such a fabulous kid, some days you make me wonder how things will be 10 years from now, some days I just want to sit on the couch and snuggle with you, some days I want to sell you, but every day I love you. 

Evidently my husband is paying homage to the Deadliest Catch on his boat..


I helped plan a kick ass maritime festival complete with a 'blessing of the fleet'. Those boys and their boats deserve a good blessing every year. Here is my sister and her husband getting their boat blessed.

I watched my girls' babysitter drink beer legally.
I watched my brother in law win the survival suit contest. It is a very good thing to get the survival suit on in less than a minute!
I watched a cheery train do laps around the community center parking lot about 150 times. This particular time, famous author Lisa Genova and her 18 month old were riding the rails. You have all gone out and bought her book, Still Alice, right?
I watched my sister, Kate and Becki play with squid.
I watched a group of fishermen try their hand for the title of best "rope coiler" in town.
I have listened to B sing in church with a newly formed kid's choir.

I have volunteered at the elementary school, watched K ride in a horse show and place 3rd!, coached B's softball team, and taken 5 families' photos for a fundraiser. 

I have sat at 2 nights of town meeting to see anything that has to do with the school pass (phew!)

Basically, I have barely had time to pee, never mind stop long enough to post. I would like to say the next few weeks will be easier, but it is not looking that way. 

Why, Oh Why, is everything crammed into May and June? What's wrong with February, when I have plenty of free time?

Weekend News

So the spa party was a blast. Thanks to my Mom and sister for being technicians in the "salon". Straight hair was made curly, curly hair made straight, fingers and toes were painted and massaged and faces were masked. We had plenty of munchies and then of course cake and ice-cream. There were balloons, dancing, singing and stuffing balloons up their pajama tops. I tell you, it was a crazy night! Examples:

Straight hair gone curly. Yes, above is B and below is me. I am holding the spa flowers with my beautifully done purple sparkly nails!K and cousin C took their very curly hair to the flat iron. Oh, yeah, that's always a little scary, but good ammo for their senior yearbook.
We had a big family feast last night. Chicken enchiladas, my picky eater's favorite. Go figure. Tomorrow is the big day. Thankfully, she had a shower, so she will wake up her normal curly self!