Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Taking a Bite Out of Walmart

News people on Cape Cod have been dealing with the every day crap that is dished out about the economy this winter. There have also been break ins, car accidents, fires, deaths, births, the usuals. I think we might have hit the point in the winter where the news people are just going to make stuff up to see if people are even listening. 

Case in point; 2 stories I heard about today.

There is a police officer in one Cape town that is being charged with "peeing on a rock fan" and then verbally abusing him. At a Metallica concert recently, this cop decided it was too far to head to "the head" and just peed on the guy in front of him. I might expect this from a woman because we all know how long the lines are to the ladies room, but this was a guy. Evidently he pulled out his police badge so he wouldn't get thrown out of the concert. I think he got thrown off the force instead.

The second story comes from Walmart. 
Walmart is doing pretty well in this recession/depression/secession we are having. With their rolled back prices, they are the one store many can afford. Someone was looking to buy a new wallet at the Walmart in Falmouth the other day. Evidently they had something to put in a wallet. Whatever I need/have can, unfortunatley, fit in my pocket. This wallet buying person was checking out all the nooks and crannies of said wallet and found 10 teeth in a pocket. EWWWWW! 10 adult teeth, one with a filling. The wallet still had the tags on it and no one seems to know how  the teeth got there or from who or why. 

So to sum up the Cape news this week: 

Don't lose your teeth over wet pants.

Take a bite out of crime.

Can we link peeing and teeth loss to the economy?

Stop, Pee and Chew.

Got any others? Are there news stories like this around the country or are these things saved for Cape Cod in the winter?


Unknown said...

great stories!

WeaselMomma said...

Damn! That's where I left them. I have been looking all over. Was my Mettalica concert umbrella there too?

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

I'm too cold to read the paper. Or turn on the TV...except to watch AI.


Melisa Wells said...


As you probably know, us here in Illinois don't have to listen to a lot of potentially made-up stories. With Blagoevich and Burris (and other assorted political) scandals, we don't, unfortunately, have to make up news stories. :(

Mary Ellen said...

Mostly our news folks talk about the weather. How much snow we got, how much snow we're getting, how much snow we're going to get.

Oh, and the temperature. They talk about that a lot, too.

I think I should move to Cape Cod.