Thursday, May 24, 2012

Life as an 85 Year Old

The past 2 days, I have had a sneak peak on what it will be like to be 85 years old.

I am a little scared. (If you are at all queasy or don't want me to share too much, please stop here and come back tomorrow.)

I had been putting off going to the Drs for a few things because I like to believe in the power of, "Things will fix themselves if you wait long enough". Well, sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't. I also like to get my $25 worth.

Dr: What's going on?
Me: A few things, first I need to refill a prescription.
Dr.: No problem.
Me: Then there is this little problem with my hip.
Dr: What's going on with your hip?
Me: I don't know. Perhaps an "itis" arthritis, bursitis, tendinitis.... It hurts.
Dr. Okayyyyyyyy. What else?
Me: Well, I also have this problem in my throat, acid refluxy thing...

He goes on and checks me out and asks if my ears feel full. Yes, actually, they did feel pluggy (made that one up, Dr. was impressed). He tells me to keep an eye on that because it may turn into an ear infection. Of course, he asks how long these things have been going on and I said, "months". No need to rush into anything. So he gives me a lab sheet with about 12 things circled on it, 4 prescriptions and an x-ray slip.

Today I get up chanting, "Do not eat anything, do not eat anything". For some people, I realize it is not a big deal not to eat first thing, but I have usually eaten a handful of m&ms by 7am. Drop the girls off at school and start my foray into all things medical.

First the lab. Get at least 6 vials of blood drawn (no problem), pee in a cup and then am handed a brown paper bag. Thinking I won the prize of the day at the lab, the nurse assured me that no, it was what I needed for a stool sample. Icky.

Then I go to the x-ray place. I am told to sit, they are taking people with appointments first and they will buzz me when I can come to the desk. I thought they only used those buzzer things in restaurants! After a 1/2 hour of reading my book, I went back to the desk to see if my buzzer was broken. That wasn't broken, the printer was. They told me to come back later. Thankfully I didn't have a bone sticking out somewhere.

Came home to work on part 2 for the lab.

Hoping the printer was fixed at the x-ray place, I stopped back in at the lab where the lady turned her nose up at my sample in a clear bag. Whoops, forgot the brown paper bag.

The x-ray place was up and running and I went in with only a minimal wait. The lovely technician took 2 xrays all the while probably wondering why I wasn't limping. After looking at the x-rays briefly, she asked me if I had had a traumatic blow to my hip. Hmmm, no, I think I would have remembered that.

Then I went to the grocery store, because it does not matter that my hip hurt or my ear was pluggy or my foot hurt (right, didn't want to overload the Dr so forgot to mention that one....) people still needed to eat. Picked up my prescriptions then dodged every senior citizen on Cape Cod that had decided to shop in the middle of a beautiful day.

Believe me when I say, I was about the youngest person at all the places I stopped today. However, my youth was being challenged by every needle and x-ray. Now I will just sit in my rocking chair with a crotcheted afghan covering my knees and my tea and wait for a phone call.


Mrs4444 said...

Dont take this wrong, but I love this post. Love you, too. Good luck!

Mrs4444 said...

Dont take this wrong, but I love this post. Love you, too. Good luck!

Liz@thisfullhouse said...

UGH! Not fun. However, you ARE the best-looking and funniest 85 year-old I know. Good luck <3

Bill Lisleman said...

good the you carry your sense of humor around with you. Do you think the lab techs would laugh if you gave them a bag of m&m for a sample?

Melisa Wells said...

Sorry, I'm just catching up! But ugh, getting older sucks. I'm right there with ya! :)